i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
