Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
