biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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