She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
