So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
