1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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