he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
worst night to have a conscience
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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