Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
