Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
