So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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