He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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