Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
