I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize