party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
