Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize