Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
