You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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