k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
