my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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