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i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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