You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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