he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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