Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
