FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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