Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
