Soap is not a condiment
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
