im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
