how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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