I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
