...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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