shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
