I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
