we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
