The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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