How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
