oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
