First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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