Pappa wants mamma naked
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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