She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
