Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize