So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
