my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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