She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Non-Jews are for practice
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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