hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
