I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
