I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
