Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
