He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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