actually, I'm a sock model
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
