found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
