i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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