You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
