I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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