school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
