Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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