and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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