sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
