Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize