she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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