If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
