Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
