I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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