I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
