Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
