There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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