So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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