i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
