It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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